Yours, Mine & Ours

I received the greatest topic today, from one of my readers, and I personally want to address it. Remember that, partly why this blog works, is because I can freely, and openly express my views. This is MY blog, which means it's filled with MY thoughts. I am in no way imposing my thoughts on anyone, and these are just the lessons I've learned. If you can relate to me, great! If not, that's cool too. We're human, and we aren't always going to agree, but if I can help by showing you a different view, on a similar situation. Then I've accomplished something.

Yours.

How many of us, have been in a relationship, and find ourselves trying our hardest to become bffs with our partners friends? It's fine to be cordial, and friendly with his friends, but always remember that, that's just what they are. HIS FRIENDS. As long as you know the difference, you'll have no issues. His boy's will always be loyal to him, because that's what their supposed to be.

I HATE his friends.

You have the loud obnoxious,man whore friend, who hits everything in reach, and then some. Sprinkled in with the most disrespectful friend you can possibly have, and you find yourself wondering, how can my sweet, handsome guy, be friends with such jerks? The thing is, you don't have to like his friends, but you DO have to be able to have some sort of cordial relationship. Does that mean you have to be chummy chums? No way. As long as their not disrespectful to you, they really should not be an issue.

His friend's aren't going anywhere. It would be selfish for you to ask them to. This type of situation is one, where you have to ask yourself, what if he didn't like my friends? Would I be ready to give one of my girl's the boot, to appease my man? If you're anything like me, then your answer should be 'HELL NO'.

As far as I'm concerned, my friends come with the territory.

We're a packaged deal. As well are his. Unless his friends, or yours do something extremely shady, then the talk of them going anywhere, should never come up. Look at Pam, and Martin. They cannot stand each other, and they make it clear each time they see each other. Yet, that doesn't come between Martin, and Gina's relationship. It shouldn't come between yours either. Friend's come with the territory. It's life. Accept it, or live under a shell. Know the difference between the relationships you have with your Man (Gf), your friends, & his/her friends. There's a difference between all three. You can intertwine, you can keep them separate, or you can have them come to a common ground of respect.

Mine.

My friend's are my extended family. Their the people I know will be standing beside me, at my wedding. We're tight like that, and it took me a while to find them. Which means, I'm not ditching them. Like I said, they come with the territory. I don't mind my friends, becoming friend's with who I'm seeing. I actually prefer it, because their not going anywhere. If you plan on sticking around, you have to get use to us, because we're a feisty bunch. I love my one, on one time with whoever I'm in a relationship with, but I also am very fond of joining my two world's together. It makes things easier. It allows the relationships to be formed. It's important to think long term. I have found the friend's I'm going to grow old with, so if I'm serious with someone he needs to be come acclimated with my friends. They don't have to always get along, because in life you don't always, but they do have to respect each other for the sake of me. I will not allow any disrespect from either side, especially if it's not justified. Their my friend's at the end of the day, and their loyalty will always remain to me. My last relationship, worked out perfectly. He became cool with my friend's, as well as my friend's becoming cool with his. When we would all have kick backs, sometimes He and his friend's would come, or just him. It was normal. I loved it. I didn't have to separate the two world's but instead I could enjoy them simultaneously. I think that it's important.

Ours.

As a couple, you're going to meet people along the way, who meet you guys as a couple. These in turn, become both of your friends. You ever see in shows, when the couple has a fight, and the friend's of both the man, and woman, never know which side to choose? These are these guys. Usually they won't pick sides, because they'll feel a loyalty to both. Of course, there's always exceptions. Like some friend's becoming closer to either you, or your spouse. It doesn't matter though, because these are still both of your friends. Sometimes I've noticed, aside from your friends outside the relationship. The friend's you and your spouse make, are usually couples. Strange, but couples attract couples. Single people, attract single people. It's just how it goes. I am the single friend now, and I go out with my cousin & her boyfriend all the time. It gets kind of lonely, because I'm the third wheel, while their all lovey dovey. If I had a choice, I'd hang out with other single people. Couple's like hanging out with couples. There's nothing wrong with that, it actually makes things a lot easier.

It doesn't matter if it's yours, mine, or ours. The point is, when you're in a relationship the only two people that should matter, are you and your partner. Your friend's will always be your friends. Don't let those relationships come between the one with whoever your with. If it helps you to keep the separated, that's fine too. Do what works for you both. We all are different, and come up with our own paths of life. It's important to think long term, ask yourself, if this was my husband/wife, would our friend's really be the basis of how our relationship went? I hope you know the correct answer to this question.

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