No regrets; Just lessons Learned.

It has been FOREVER since my last update, and if I have anyone out that there that kept up with my posts, I am so sorry. I'm over me too, so don't worry. I won't make any promises that I can't keep, but what I will do is say that I am going to TRY and keep my posts consistent.


"I’m not a little girl anymore. .I’ve learned who to trust,& who to ignore." -- Unknown.

My prior posts have all been about the girl I've been, the mistakes I've made, what people have thought about me, but I have decided to turn over a new leaf. A lot has taken place in my life over the course of the past two months, and I must say that the girl you guys knew, is not here anymore. Okay, that's not true, but what is true is that, it took something DRASTIC for me to realize the error in my ways.

Its okay to be nice, when people are deserving. I have always been way too trusting, I see the good in people, even when the core of them isn't a good person. This is something I've always battled with, but this is who I am. What I have realized is that its okay to be nice to people, who DESERVE it. My problem has always been deciphering who really is genuinely a friend, and has my best interest at heart, from those who are only using me to their benefits. I have let a lot of people walk all over me, and all this has done, is let other potential users see my weakness. I was a people pleaser to the core(no pun intended). This is just the honest truth, I feel like you all respect my blog, because of how honest I've been with you guys. I will not sugar coat my flaws. I have made a lot of mistakes, shit I still make mistakes. I would do things, I wouldn't want to do, just because NOT doing it made me feel bad. How sucky is that? Not doing something for someone made ME feel bad. I had a friend tell me, that you can't feel bad for not doing things ALL the time. He is so right. My issue is that I've done a lot for, a lot of people, and if you always have to wonder if they would do the same for you, that's a clear indication, that you should not be doing for them in the first place.

“God allows us to experience the low points of life in order to teach us lessons we could not learn in any other way. The way we learn those lessons is not to deny the feelings but to find the meanings underlying them.”-- Stanley Lindguist

Yes, I WAS a people pleaser, yes I DID allow people to walk all over me, this includes friends, family, boyfriends, lovers, and everything in between. I honestly believe that a lot of the issues I face are with not truly knowing my self-worth.
"the prettiest people do the ugliest things." --Kanye To everyone on the outside, I am an extremely pretty woman, and while I have never doubted that, I did a lot of things that someone who respected themselves wouldn't have. This doesn't only include sex. This includes how I've let people treat me, use me, talk to me, disrespect me. Its sad to say but the list can go on and on. I am battling a lot these days, and one thing I will not be battling anymore is my self-worth. I am an intelligent, beautiful, strong, independent, loving, black woman. This has always been true, it's just taken me some time to realize it. I don't care about those that will never get over who I used to be. This blog has never been about them. It's about ME, and to everyone that can relate to me in one way or the other. People don't change over night, and I don't expect things to change over night. I still have problems telling friends no, when I really want to, but I am better at it now. As far as men go, I am taking a sabbatical from them. I am going through a lot, more then I can truly share right now, and I don't need the stress from the male species. I am honestly for the first time, REALLY on a journey with myself. I have a lot to learn about me, the things I truly want, the things I truly DESERVE, and so much more. It's going to be a long road ahead, but this time I've decided to try the road less traveled. In the end, it might be more beneficial then the road I have grown accustom to. Until next time.