Is S H E the Reason?

I Was Cool With No Commitment (Wait)
Let Me Take That Back
It Was You, So I Was With It (See)
Guess I Didn't Get
When You Showed You Didn't Miss It
Now It Seems That Your Interest Ain't Here
And We Ain't The Same

Is She The Reason You Don't Call Like You Use To?
Fall Through My Hood Like You Use To
Or Put It On Me Hard Like You Use To Do
I Know In My Mind What's Going On
But My Heart Won't Let Me Go Until I Know
Is She The Reason That My Calls Couldn't Reach You?
The Deepest Of My Love Couldn't Please You
Or Bring It To Me Home Like You Use To Do
Seeing Her Falling For Your Charm
Got Me Feeling Like I Wasn't Good Enough

Is She The Reason-Destiny's Child

This morning, I received an email asking me to discuss insecurities, and this topic is definitely one that needs to be touched on. I remember listening to 'Is She The Reason' over, and over, when Destiny Fulfilled came out. I'm actually listening to it on repeat as I type. WHY? A lot of time when I post, there are certain things that inspire my creative flow, and more often then not, that happens to be music. When I listen to this song, I am able to go back in time to all the emotions, and thoughts I had when this song first came out.

'Got Me Feeling Like I Wasn't Good Enough.' There have been countless time when I have second guessed myself because of a guy. It is, and was extremely pathetic, but this is what I did. I remember feeling like:

Maybe I'm not pretty enough.
Not Smart enough.
Not funny enough.
Not slim enough.
Hell not tall or short enough.
Maybe I talk too much. LOL

No matter the insecurity I've felt them all at one point or the other. Who hasn't? The problem isn't in having insecurities, because WE all have them. The real issue is allowing someone else to make you feel insecure. This is a HUGE no, no. I was in a situation dealing with an ex, who at the time I thought was the LOVE OF MY EXISTENCE. YES, that extreme. Anyway, we we're 'working' on us, but little did I know that he was also working on something else with something new. I had NO idea. When I finally found out, I was hurt, I was confused, I felt fooled. Yet I stayed, thinking maybe it wasn't serious between them. Boy was I wrong. Fast forward to today, they're happily together, and honestly I wouldn't want it any other way. I am 100% happy for him, because I know that she's the best for him. I wasn't, nor was he the best for me.

What's my point? At one point, I wasn't happy. I was actually pretty damn sad, and beat myself about it. Why wasn't I good enough? Even before this female came into the picture, I was insecure. He was older, and had just went to college, while I was still in high school. He had the power to make me feel like I was even too incompetent to have a regular conversation with him. I wasn't comfortable talking to him until I, myself, entered college. Don't get me wrong, because we did have normal conversations. I just was a lot less sure of myself, so I always filtered what was said around him. I can honestly say, that for a while I was truly never myself around him. I don't even think I knew who I was. I never wanted to seem like a dumb high school girl, especially since he was now surrounded by women. It's already a lot of competition in high school, can you imagine how I felt knowing he was now surrounded by women on his level, and above? I constantly asked: Why is he with me? What can I truly offer him? He's in college with females who can go out without having to ask their parents for permission. Lame was what I was. If you've ever felt like this, or even worse, if you're going through this RIGHT now, I am telling you from experience nip it in the bud right now! It will never work, and I am saying this in the most heartfelt voice I have. I am not trying to burst anyone's bubble nor, am I saying this because He and I didn't work out. If your situation at all mirrors mine, I am telling you it will never work.

Flaws && ALL. Sure, we're human, and we ALL have insecurities, but when it comes to the opposite sex, you should never have anyone in your life, that makes you feel like YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH. WE are ALWAYS good enough. Also, not for nothing, but insecurities, ruin relationships. I don't know about you, but if I constantly have to tell my partner how great, smart, attractive, they are just for them to feel good about themselves, I'd drive myself up the wall. You should have enough confidence to know how GREAT you are, because you are. NO matter the mistakes, the level you're on, it doesn't matter. You're great, and the person you're with obviously realized that, because they wouldn't be with you. If it's someone who didn't realize, and cheated, or chose someone else over you, screw them. Nothing against them, but like I mentioned in my prior post, we are not going to be the one for everyone. It's impossible, but the good news is, the one who we're supposed to be with, will be much better. You should be with someone who accepts the whole you. FLAWS & ALL, because that's what you deserve. Insecurity thrives off of lack of self-esteem. Love yourself, like how you want someone else to love you. Throw the insecurities out the window, and be who you're supposed to be.

1) Don't compare.
2) Don't wish you were anything other then what you are.
3) Know your worth, & don't let ANYONE diminish that value.
4) Demand, & only accept what you DESERVE.

Yes, I've been insecure, and yes sometimes I STILL am. We're human, no one is perfect, but I AM TRYING. That's all we can truly ask from ourselves.

whosthatgiirl@gmail.com email me with anything you want addressed. Thanx guys :)