I DON'T have the [TIME]

'Make sure you don't fall in love,
cuz i don't have the time for that
only thing i chase is money, if you tell me where its at'

Take You Down Drake

I wish I was in a place in my life, where I was READY for LOVE. Because, honestly, who doesn't want to be loved? We all do, no matter how much we may say we don't. We're human, and from the time we're born we are loved. By our parents, siblings, family, etc we're loved. So, even as we become adults, love plays a huge factor in our lives. Whether you're falling in love, falling out of love, or avoiding it all together, you're still doing things that involve the emotion.

I do NOT, have time for love. My days are already filled to capacity, between work, school, blogging, writing, working out, and just thinking about my life as a whole, I really don't have room for love. Realistically, I went from wanting to always speak to someone. Scratch that, I went from NEEDING to speak to someone, to appreciating the days of silence.Of course I did not become a hermit, and I DO have days, where I have conversations with a whole assortment of people (friends, parents, cousins etc) yet, I don't NEED the conversations, to be okay. My life has become so hectic, that I really do not have time for anything remotely close to a relationship. Also I'll admit that I have NEVER in my life been completely single, and I am enjoying the selfish me.

To all my readers out there, you all need to have one point in your life, where you are 100% selfish. I say this, in the most positive way. I do not mean, go around being rude, and not giving to people. I'm saying, that when you're so used to being in a relationship of some sort, you put someone else's needs not before your own, but you consider how certain things will make this person feel. You consider their feelings, when it comes to your actions. I think its important that before reaching that level, that you have time to yourself. Complete time.

This is MY time. It's my time, to only consider my own feelings. When I want to eat, I do not have to think about 'I wonder if he's hungry'. When I shop, I shop for me, with no thoughts of a 'him'. I'm generous, and when I'm with someone, I like getting them things. I just do, whether its something simple like a card, or a video game. It doesn't matter, I think about the person, when I do things for myself. Yet, this time around, I think about NO ONE but ME. Okay, I shouldn't say that, because of course I think about my family, but you get my point.

I believe you can meet the RIGHT person, at the WRONG time. Honestly speaking, I'm stuck in a WRONG time. This is not the RIGHT time, for a lot, and I'm trying to adjust to this notion. It's not the right time for a lot that I CANNOT control, so when I am able to have something to do with it, I make it clear 'Hey it's not the right time!'.

Inside the heart of each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world.

I relate to the quote above, because while I do not have time for love, I do want to be understood. I want to be given the time to grow as freely as possible, but to have such a strong support team behind me, that I know I'm growing for MYSELF, but not BY MYSELF.

I realized after posting [what's love got to do with it] that this in is almost the same thing, just added on. So I will leave this post like this. Enjoy.

Whosthatgiirl@gmail.com <-- email me