Valentine's Day Blues.

 The dreadful holiday is approaching. The stores are stocked with giant teddy bears, heart chocolates, and cards galore. Girls in new relationships, are counting down the days to see if their new significant other, has placed the same amount of value on their relationship as they have. For some, it'll be a day of mourning, because they have to give their fake boyfriend back to their real girlfriend.  Valentine's day a holiday not new to us, but each year the same feelings arise....

I hate Valentine's Day. And not because I'm bitter, but theres too much pressure put on the day. You'll never know if the love shown is actually genuine. If my relationship is good all year round, then valentines day is something I don't mind celebrating. But if its horrible all year round, and the only day I get love and attention is Vday, ya'll can keep that. I've never celebrated valentine's day. Sure, I always get gifts, but never an actual valentine's date, and let alone be asked by someone I'm actually interested in. So I don't celebrate. I never go out on any dates, because what's the point? I'm not interested, and I'd rather not fake the funk on the 'lovers' holiday. Here's my advice to those of you counting down the days...

Relationship Vday. If you're in a committed relationship, then valentines day is just another day. You can both take part in showering gifts on each other. Ladies, men appreciate gifts too. Don't get caught up in the gender specifics of who this holiday is actually geared too. Appreciate your partner, and get him something as well. Just because its a holiday where people love to go out, you can always find nice things to do inside. Cooking a romantic three course meal, is always a good idea. Whatever you decide to do, remember this day is about appreciating the love you share for one another. Do not get caught up in the gifts, that's only benefiting companies, not you. 

Single but seeing someone Vday.  A lot of us can fall under this catagory. First things first, remember you are not in a relationship, so neither one of you are obligated to each other. Unless you've had the, let's be exclusive conversation, this holiday can leave you questioning why you've been wasting your time in the first place. I recommend having the conversation before hand. "Are we doing anything for Valentine's day?" may be a good question to start off with, or if you want to take the indirect route, you can try suggesting a place you'd want to go. If you wait until the day actually comes, and he/she doesn't have plans, then it's up to you to continue seeing this person. Everyone makes there own rules, even deciding not to celebrate valentines is okay, if you're both in agreement. If you know in your heart, its make or break Vday, then don't hide those feelings. Be up front, and direct, just know that he or she is also entitled to be up front in what they want as well. 

Side Piece Vday.  When you sign up for #2, you kind of know that this comes with the territory. Usually he/she will have to spend this day with their real significant other. It makes no sense crying over spoiled milk, you knew what you were getting yourself into when you decided to spend time with someone that wasn't yours. I suggest inner reflection, and asking yourself why do you settle for #2, when you can be someone's only.. If you're totally fine with the situation you're in, here are some things I suggest you don't do. 

1) do not blow up his/her phone. Have respect for his/her relationship at least on this day. (it's the least you can do.)
2) Get a sudden sense of 'I'm telling you partner' ... If you didn't tell their spouse before, makes no sense to do it now. Have enough respect for yourself to not look like the bitter side piece. You'll be the only one losing in this situation. 

Here are somethings you can do:  go out with friends. Sometimes they're better dates then anyone else can be. Catch up with family, or on things you've been neglecting for yourself. You should always be your first love interest. All in all, its a tough role to play, so you'll have to see which works for you. Good luck!

Single Vday. You've cut off the person you were seeing, because they weren't about shxt. Now you're left wondering why you didn't wait until after valentine's day. Quit thinking like that, if the person wasn't about anything, chances are they wouldn't have picked february 14th to prove that they were. Catch up on all the wasted time you spent with 'Mr. or Mrs. Aint about Ish'. My favorite thing to do, is to go out with all my single girlfriends, and have a night of fun. You know you'll leave this date feeling happy, and not questioning or over thinking everything that happened. I'll be spending my valentines day in ATL with my Mane sisters, and I couldn't be more excited. There's no pressure of a date, and I know I'll be laughing from the day we leave, til the day we return. Don't get caught up in this day, it's just one day out of the year.  It'll be over soon! And to all my love birds out there, I hope its everything, and then some!! <33

Lots & lots of love, 

--A

P.s Those suffering from the Vday blues, I suggest you stay home, and sulk, or get over it. Do not ruin it for everyone else, because you're bitter. Try your hardest to smile, you never know, maybe you'll meet your valentine for next year! Great things are in the works, you'll only block yourself from it, if you're sulking!!! :)