Can I Just Have The Ring?

I titled this post 'Can I Just Have The Ring' not to discredit, or lesson the value of the sacramental vow of marriage, but to express my feeling's on it as of now.

I BELIEVE in marriage. I believe in what it's supposed to be. I believe in the idea of marriage, but because of my generation, and the one prior, I'm just not sure if it's for ME. Today marriage, is something not talked about, or looked at as it used to be; the value has completely been diminished. My generation, and the one prior consists of babies out of wedlock, and shacking up. I am not one to judge, but these are the facts. Females view's on relationships, and love has changed. Women used to spend their life, waiting to find a husband, and have kids. This was what was condoned,and not that I see anything wrong with this, but times are different.

I wish I was the female, that dreamed of her wedding day, & the babies she'd popped out;  Prince charming, sweeping her off her feet, and having baby fever. (laughs) Do you even believe that? I sure don't. Honestly speaking, I don't. I didn't have the same dreams, that most females did. While other's we're playing house, and imagining their wedding, I was acting out different scenes, dreaming of doing it on the big screen. While other females, dreamed of their kids, and all the names, I thought about having a farm at one of my many estates. My thoughts just were NOT the same. I want to be financially successful ALONE, before I think about having a husband. I want to grow mentally with someone, explore the world together, & be able to fall in love with his ambition. If it grows to marriage, than it does. I just don't have that envisioned right now.

Can I just have the ring? I'm human, so I won't lie and say I haven't thought about marriage. I have. If I could just have the wedding, and the ring, I'd love it. haha, seeing it typed out, makes me sound superficial. But in reality, I'm scared of divorce. I don't think every relationship is the same, but my biggest fear about marriage, is that more than 50% of them end in divorce. If someone gets me to marry them, I can gaurentee you that divorce will be the LAST thing on my mind. I value marriage, and what it stands for, so best believe if you get me to say 'I DO', TRUST ME, I DO, until death due us part. Marriage takes work, and a lot of people including myself don't even work hard in their normal everyday relationships.  Relationships, are supposed to prepare you for one day settling down with 'the one'.  If you can't even put in 100% into those relationships, how can you do it in a marriage? You can't give up, when every part of you is screaming throw the towel in. There will be many days, months, hell, maybe even years, when every part of you is asking what am I doing here? That's when you have to fight. Fight for the moment, when you knew this was the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.  You have to fight for the love you never doubted. That's what true, unconditional love is built on. That's what my grandparents love was built on.

 My grandparents loved each other, in a way I didn't think still existed. They we're married for 57 years, may God rest her soul (grandma) but even at her death bed, my grandfather never left her side. They loved each other in a way that could not be broken. They're were lots of times they argued, maybe they even despised each other, but no matter how much they didn't agree, they never let their disagreements triumph the love they had. They believed in the relationship enough to know, it was a bond that they weren't going to break. They fought for each other, they fought for the young couple they were, when they knew that they were the one for each other. That's the only love I want. That's the only love I crave. That's the only love that will get me at the alter. I have faith in GOD, that it still exists. And if by chance I find out that it doesn't, I won't be the female that marries, because she feels old, and that its time. I will only marry for love. I will only marry a man who believes in the vow of marriage in the same way that I do. Don't go into, because you feel obligated. Don't marry out of fear of being alone either. Marry because you're in raw, unconditional love. Marry only the person who values marriage in the way it should be valued. Marry the person who believes hard work, should always be put into the relationship. Marry the person who wants nothing but the best for you, even if they had to live without you. Only then will it last. I'm keeping my faith strong, and my hopes high. Until then, I'll just take my imaginary ring ;) <333


With Lots of Love & Hope,

--A