I'm Complicated.

I wish I could change. I wish I could change. I wish I could stop sayin the same old things.I wish I could be who u want me to be. I wish I could stop being the same old me. I wish I could lose all of my blues. I wish I could stop puttin my blues on u. I wish I could love like nobody loves. I wish that my goods outweighed my bads enough

Complicated--Robin Thicke

Deep down, I want what everyone else wants. To be loved. Passionately, and profusely. I want someone to share my fears with, because isn't love supposed to make life have meaning?


I want REAL love. Which is why, I've decided I have to take time for ME. The guy, I'll spend the rest of my life with, will be strong. He'll be ambitious, and smart. Kind, and considerate, and think beyond the box of mediocrity. He'll be the male version of how ambitious I am, if not more. He'll make me feel safe, and I won't have to question his loyalty.

Being single now, allows me to get ME in order. Ladies, gentlemen, whoever is reading this, you need to know, you cannot ask for something, that you yourself are not doing. I have a lot to change about me. My pride for one has got to go. I know that I push people away, and I also know that I'd rather be alone, then to put myself out there, or allow myself to be vulnerable. These are not traits I'm proud of, but this has always been me.

I'm complicated. Hell I'm even selfish. I act on impulse, and don't consider how my actions will make someone else feel. I guess part of the change, is being able to admit this. It took losing someone close to me, because of my actions to realize, it's time to admit the parts of me, that need to be worked on.

I'm human. Just like everyone else, I'm still figuring a lot out about myself. I'm guarded. I'm scared. Yet, I'm truly good at heart. I want the world, in every aspect. Career wise, education wise, friendship, and of course love.


Take time for YOU. Take time to become the man or woman, you know you deserve to be. Take time to become a better significant other, for when the time is right. Take time, because if you don't, all you'll receive is a slew of relationships that will lead nowhere. I'm continuing to take the time, because I KNOW, I am NOT the woman, I know I can be. I'll get there. One day at a time.

Be who you know you're destined to be. Anyone else, would be short changing yourself.