[Caught Up] The 28 Day Challenge.

I've done it again. Here we are four months since my last post, and as usual I'm feeling just as empty. I've finally come to terms with this emptiness, and my life never being able to go without my passion for writing. I've just found my self so caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, that I always neglect what's most important; myself. I hate routine, but my life couldn't be more routine then it as at this present stage. It's down right sickening. I work the same two bars, every week, with the same days. Granted, different faces always come in, but the day to day is still the same.  I've let my 5 day sometime 6day work week, distract me from the bigger picture. I'm feeling so unmotivated, and so uninspired, and having the hardest time faking it. I've grown to hate the question, "what do you do?' because no matter how much everyone else loves being a 'bartender' it is nothing more than a means to an end for me. I appreciate it, because it allows me the flexibility to do whatever it is I want, but aside from that, its so far away from what I really love to do. If anyone out there can relate, just know I'm right here going through the same thing. I believe no matter what, the beauty in life is, that each day allows you a new beginning; a chance to start fresh; to be the person you really want to be. I'm constantly hoping it's not too late to finally stop being scared, and go for it.

I'm queen of talking, and this 28 day challenge will help me to become queen of doing. I'm thankful for friends like S, who took the time out his day, to text me, to encourage me to start writing again. Its important to have people in your corner, near or far, who see the ability you have, and push you when you don't have it in you to push yourself. No matter what's standing in the way of you, and your passion, know that if you want it bad enough, you have to fight. Fight for the person inside of you, screaming 'I want this more than anything'. So here I am, declaring myself as starting over, for the millionth time.  I don't care how that sounds, to me it's reality. There will be phases in life, where you will go off track, the importance is realizing when you've veered off course, and finding the strength to to get it together. I don't want to, no scratch that, I can't look back ten years from now, and still be in the same place I am now. So if this challenge will help at all, I'll try it out. If anyone is interested in taking part, then you can. Pick whatever it is you want to start doing on a daily basis, and apply the same rules. My 28 day challenge will be for writing. So, for the next 28 days, I vow to write, to fall in love with the art that I've always loved. To put ink to paper, to allow the magic of words to captivate my mental, to the point of an orgasmic collision of prose. I was caught up, but I'm slowly finding my way out this black hole I sometimes find myself in. Here goes nothing...Just let me be great!



With Lots of Love,

--A